explaining the transmission of HIV to a kindergartner age appropriately proved to be more challenging than some would think. i always knew that i wanted to be open with my son about my disease but definitely underestimated how hard it could be. as he gets older and my illness progresses the need for blunt talks seems endless. i try to leave emotion to the side and to make the basics very cut and dry. honesty is definitely the best policy. its painful to answer some of his questions because i know that the answers are going to leave him confused and angry, but at his age i can only do so much explaining. i suffer most when i think about what my struggles are going to cost my baby. if you are reading this, please understand im venting and not complaining, i live daily with the most socially stigmatic disease since leprosy and its very lonely. please feel free to pray for me.